ANGER
MANAGEMENT
Introduction
In
the chaotic world of today, day to day life situation are filled with a lot of
negative emotions leading to anger, stress and depression. Fear and insecurity
threats are common problems in almost every society, which generates a lot of
anger in human mind. Anger, the most often expressed human emotion, expressed
several times a day by any individual can be the consequence of many internal
and external factors including biological, psychological and social.
What is Anger?
Anger
is a basic human emotion that is experienced by all people. Typically triggered
by an emotional hurt, anger is usually experienced as an unpleasant feeling
that occurs when we think we have been injured, mistreated , opposed in our
long-held views , or when we are faced with obstacles that keep us from
attaining personal goals.
Anger
is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of
control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems—problems at work, in
your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life. And it can
make you feel as though you are at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful
emotion. Anger is an emotion that arises in reaction to certain kinds of
stress. There is a certain continuum of anger that ranges from calmness through
irritation, annoyance, frustration and resentment, to anger, rage and fury. As
we move along this continuum the emotion becomes more intense and we become
less capable of rational thinking, less likely to behave reasonably and less
able to control the situation. At this end of the continuum aggression and
violence are more likely.
Terminologies :
Aggression is action, i.e.
attacking someone or a group. It is intended to harm someone. It can be a verbal
attack--insults, threats, sarcasm, or attributing nasty motives to them-or a
physical punishment or restriction.
Indirect Aggression This is where gossip
or rumors are spread about someone or where a person is left out, shunned, or
snubbed. This behavior has been shown to be more common among girls because
girls, in general, are more eager than boys to be accepted into their social
group and to have close personal relationships. Having bad things said about
you or being neglected or avoided is very hurtful to a teenage girl.
Sometimes
it is called Relational Aggression
because it is designed to hurt certain relationships in the group and build
other contacts. It is a way to manipulate relationships and create excitement.
Viewing indirect aggression on TV increases this kind of action by the viewer.
Recognizing Anger :-
Direct behavioral signs:
1.
Assaultive: physical and verbal cruelty, rage, slapping, shoving,
kicking,
hitting, threaten with a knife or gun, etc.
2.
Aggression: overly critical, fault finding, name-calling, accusing
Someone,
having immoral or despicable traits or motives,
nagging,
whining, sarcasm, prejudice, flashes of temper.
3.
Hurtful: malicious gossip, stealing, trouble-making.
4.
Rebellious: anti-social behavior, open defiance, refusal to talk.
Direct verbal or cognitive signs:
1.
Open hatred and insults: "I hate your guts;" "I'm really
mad;"
"You're
so damn stupid."
2.
Contempt and disgust: "You're a selfish SOB;" "You are a
spineless
wimp, you'll never amount to anything."
3.
Critical: "If you really cared about me, you'd...;"
"You
can't trust _______."
4.
Suspicious: "You haven't been fair;" "You cheated!"
5.
Blaming: "They have been trying to cause me trouble."
6.
I don't get the respect I deserve: "They just don't respect the
owner
(or boss or teacher or doctor) anymore."
7.
Revengeful: "I wish I could really hurt him."
8.
Name calling: "Guys are jerks;" "Women are bitches;"
"Politicians
are self-serving liars."
9.
Less intense but clear: "Well, I'm a little annoyed;" "I'm fed
up
with...;
"I've had it!" "You're a pain." "I don't want to be
around
you."
Thinly veiled behavioral signs:
1.
Distrustful, skeptical.
2.
Argumentative, irritable, indirectly challenging.
3.
Resentful, jealous, envious.
4.
Disruptive, uncooperative, or distracting actions.
5.
Unforgiving or unsympathetic attitude.
6.
Sulky, sullen, pouting.
7.
Passively resistant, interferes with progress.
8.
Given to sarcasm, cynical humor, and teasing.
9.
Judgmental, has a superior or holier-than-thou attitude.
Thinly veiled verbal signs:
1.
"No, I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed, annoyed, disgusted,
put
out, or irritated."
2.
"You don't know what you are talking about;" "Don't make me
laugh."
3.
"Don't push me, I'll do it when I get good and ready."
4.
"Well, they aren't my kind of people."
5.
"Would you buy a used car from him?"
6.
"You could improve on..."
7.
"Unlike Social Work, my major admits only the best students."
Indirect behavioral signs:
1.
Withdrawal: quiet remoteness, silence, little communication
especially
about feelings.
2.
Psychosomatic disorders: tiredness, anxiety, high blood
pressure,
heart disease. Actually, college students with high
Hostility
scores had, 20 years later, become more overweight
with
higher cholesterol and hypertension, had drunk more
coffee
and alcohol, had smoked more cigarettes, and generally
had
poorer .
3.
Depression and guilt.
4.
Serious mental illness: paranoid schizophrenia.
5.
Accident-proneness and self-defeating or addictive behavior,
such
as drinking, over-eating, or drugs.
6.
Vigorous, distracting activity (exercising or cleaning).
7.
Excessively submissive, deferring behavior.
8.
Crying.
Indirect verbal signs:
1.
"I just don't want to talk."
2.
"I'm disappointed in our relationship."
3.
"I feel bad all the time."
4.
"If you had just lost some weight."
5.
"I'm really swamped with work, can't we do something about
it?"
6.
"Why does this always happen to me?"
7.
"No, I'm not angry about anything--I just cry all the time."
What Causes Anger?
Anger
can be caused by both external and internal events. A person could be angry at
a specific person (Such as a coworker or supervisor) or event (a traffic jam, a
canceled flight), or your anger could be caused by worrying or brooding about
your personal problems. Memories of traumatic or enraging events can also trigger
angry feelings.
A
few events that trigger anger are : Effects of social factors on anger
experience and expression , Poverty, Effects of behavioral factors on anger
expression , Effects of belief, expectation ,and demand on anger expression, Effects
of physical health on anger expression , Influence of alcohol and drugs on
anger , Mental health and anger , Learning disability and anger , Frustration tolerance, Negative emotion , Fear, Hostility, Shame , Threat , Rejection
, Effectives of body dissatisfaction , Irrational perception , Impulsivity
Measure To Avoid Anger
Here
are few ways to avoid anger and to keep calm :
1)
Develop
empathy
2)
Develop
tolerance and patience
3)
Music
is very therapeutic in reducing anger
4)
Doing
creative things calm your mind
5)
Humor
defuses anger
6)
Counting
1-10
7)
Get
a partner to help you
8)
Practice
meditation
Types Of Anger
The
different types of anger would include the following :
1)
Anger
avoidance
2)
Passive
aggressive
3)
Paranoid
or disturb – based anger
4)
Sudden
anger
5)
Shame
based anger
6)
Deliberate
anger
7)
Habitual
anger
8)
Moral
anger
9)
Resentment
anger
How do we get so angry?
The
three components that make up hate are:
(1)
First
a steady avoidance of interacting with people we don’t like which leads to
having few facts and little understanding of each other. Without meaningful
interaction with our enemies there is little way to discredit the propaganda
and rumors we hear about them being inferior, arrogant, immoral, cruel,
subhuman, or evil people, almost like dirty or vicious animals.
(2)
A
second part of hate is a strong emotional reaction of passionate anger,
contempt, and disgust or dislike for the enemy. These negative feelings are
quick conditioned responses which our brain doesn’t check for accuracy.
(3)
The
third part of hate consists of a belief system that adds fuel to the hot
emotions and justifies our hate and our firm commitment to avoiding,
denouncing, and degrading or destroying the hated group.
Anger Management
Anger management is
training for temper control and is the skill of remaining calm. It has been described as deploying
anger successfully. Two kinds of anger management can be identified:
non-strategic and strategic.
Anger
management does not involve getting rid of all anger, but using anger to enhance
your life. The purposes of anger is looked in both a positive and negative
light. Anger management is a way to
increase the positive aspects of anger and decrease the negative aspects of
anger.
Importance Of Anger Management
The
goal of Anger Management is to reduce both your emotional feelings and the
physiological arousal that anger causes. Anger management concerns recognizing the triggers for anger as early as
possible and expressing these feelings and frustrations in a cool, calm and
collected way. We often have learnt-behaviors as to how to deal with
strong emotions, so anger management is about unlearning ineffective coping
mechanisms and re-learning more positive ways to deal with the problems and
frustrations associated with anger. You cant get rid of, or avoid, the things o
the people that enrage you, nor can you change them, but you can learn
to control your reactions.
Aims Of Anger Management
1)
Help you identify your anger
triggers - things that make you angry.
2)
Help you respond in a non-aggressive
way to these triggers before you lose your temper.
3)
Learn how to acquire and utilize
specific skills for handling your anger triggers.
4)
Learn to effectively identify
moments when your thought processes are not leading to logical and rational
conclusions, and to correct your thinking.
5)
Learn how to bring yourself back to
a state of calm and peace when you feel the anger surging.
6)
Learn how to express your feelings
and needs assertively in situations that make you feel angry or frustrated.
Doing so in a non-aggressive way. Assertiveness has nothing to do with
aggressiveness. Assertiveness includes respect for yourself, and respect for
others.
7)
Learning how to redirect your
energies and resources into problem solving rather than fury in situations
which may trigger anger and frustration.
8)
By
learning to manage ones anger ,one can deal with ,and expel the negative
responses and emotion ,before it causes any discomfort to self and others .
9)
Anger
management techniques have been very effective in controlling anger and
aggression among children , adolescents , and adults .
10)
Many
anger management techniques are easy to learn and practices, so give them a try before losing your temper
unnecessarily
Anger Management Techniques
1.
Count to 20 before saying anything.
2.
Leave the room for several minutes, or hours, if necessary, before discussing
sensitive issues that may provoke your anger.
3.
Write out a response to a problem before tackling it orally or in debate.
-This
will give you time to think about the best approach to a problem rather than
responding with random anger.
4.
Keeping a diary (journal) and writing about negative emotions to get them out
of your system.
5.
You may also want to keep a pet, since studies show that petting a dog or cat,
for example, helps to reduce blood pressure levels and harmful substances in
your system that can damage blood vessels if left unchecked.
6.
Talking over situations with a trusted friend and venting to a therapist.
Conclusion
Managing stress and anger is a vital, everyday
concern for individuals and the groups they comprise. Unproductive stress and
anger are costly because they undermine physical health, emotional well-being,
and performance. The direct, effective expression of anger can help manage
conflicts to reduce tension and solve problems. Stress, anger, and conflict are
commonly thought to be negative experiences that should, if possible, be
avoided. Yet they can be stimulating and productive. Persons search out stress
and conflict and feel powerful as they express anger. Stress seems inevitable
as persons tackle difficult, challenging problems that help them use and
develop their skills. Anger and conflict seem inevitable as persons work with,
rely on, and support each other. Stress and anger are very much a part of our
lives, and all of us need to learn to live with and make the most of them.
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